love – Watching the Swedes

The Swedish priest who refuses to marry heterosexuals

Posted on September 18, 2021 by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Swedish priest, Lars Gårdefeldt, is taking a stand against discrimination in the Swedish church. Since 2009, same sex couples have been legally allowed to marry within the relatively-liberal Church of Sweden.

However, there is a loophole. Priests are not obliged to marry a couple if they have conscientious objections to the union. Under this rule, clergy can turn away same-sex couples if they are morally opposed.

Lars Gårdefeldt sees this as bigoted and discriminatory. In response, he is refusing to marry opposite-sex couples. He says that if some priests can turn away same-sex couples, then he, by the same reasoning, can turn away heterosexuals.

He is regretful that he needs to carry out this action, but he wants to highlight the reprehensibility of the situation. He believes the only way forward is that the loophole is removed and that the Church of Sweden does not recruit anti-gay priests in the future.

On social media, Lars Gårdefeldt has been met by positive comments and a fair amount of criticism. Some of the negative comments, unsurprisingly, are hateful and extremely offensive.

Heterosexuals who feel violated by his decision are experiencing exclusion for perhaps the first time. Maybe, if they could take a step back from their own outrage, and reflect on how that feels, they could use this experience to understand what it is like to be on the receiving end of discrimination. Maybe they can empathize with minority groups who have to navigate discrimination their entire lives.

To quote Lars Gårdefeldt, maybe they could actually realise ’the absurdity of refusing marriage to two consulting adults.’

Swedish Valentine – All Hearts’ Day’

Posted on February 14, 2021 by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Like many places around the world, Swedes celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th. Called ‘Alla Hjärtans Dag’ – All Hearts’ Day – it is a newish tradition that started around 50 years ago, but didn’t really gain traction until the 1990’s. American influence and commercialization are often cited as the reasons for this. I also think that it’s a timing issue – the month of February is an otherwise boring time of year in Sweden. A little celebration is a small distraction from the tedium.

In Sweden, Valentine’s wishes are not only limited to love interests, but also extended to children, friends and even school teachers.

Romantically, the most common Valentine’s gifts are flowers, and treating your loved one to a nice dinner, in a restaurant or at home. Approximately 10 million red roses are sold around this day, which is huge considering the population is also 10 million.

Heart-shaped candy is also popular, and in Sweden the most common is ‘jelly hearts’. Sales of chocolate and candy apparently increase by 90% every year around Valentine’s Day.

So, I might not have flowers or chocolates to give you, but I’d like to wish each of you a Happy Valentine’s Day. I appreciate that you want to read my writing, and in return I send you some loving energy. I hope you have love and affection in your life and that, when the day comes, you can celebrate with a long, warm hug!

Have a Gay National Day!

Posted on June 5, 2014 by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Tomorrow 6 June is Sweden’s National Day and there are many celebrations going on around the country to celebrate the nation. This is the day Swede’s gather to celebrate their Sweden, and they do it in a variety of ways. With the rise of extreme right wing parties in the EU and in Sweden, a National Day might seem dubious to some people. However, If you want to avoid the ‘traditional’ celebrations, one suggestion is that you make your way to Boulevard Teater on Götgatan on Södermalm in Stockholm. There, at 7pm, National Day is being celebrated with a twist. A very gay one.Stockholm’s Gay Choir are holding the first of three concerts. The second two concerts are at 3pm and 7pm on Saturday 7 June.

All of the songs have Swedish roots and reflect how the choir sees Sweden, what it means to the HBTQ community and why they love their country. The songs are a mixture of passion, glamour, tragedy, vulnerability and joy. In an environment of increasing intolerance, these songs are needed and Stockholm’s Gay Choir stand up for openness, love and acceptance. Tickets can be bought at www.stockholmsgaykor.se or on www.ticnet.se or the box office at the theatre.

So if you want a different kind of celebration, a modern and diverse perspective – have a Gay National Day!

See you there! 🙂

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