When we DIE

A somewhat insensitive title in these times you might think and you might be right. Or not, once you understand what I mean.

You see I am not referring to death, but to a strategy that we all can apply to make our lives less stressful. It’s a strategy used commonly in intercultural situations, but has much more far-reaching applications.

I’ve spent my life trying to be an accepting and open person – to the best of my ability. I truly believe in live and let live. I try to see other people’s perspectives and have trained myself to look for an explanation behind behavior I might not understand. My choice of career in cultural competence and communication is a way to try and spread the word of tolerance and acceptance.

But recently I find myself becoming less tolerant. I find myself condemning the actions of people who do not follow the government regulations around corona protection. I find myself becoming irate at the ‘egoistic morons’ who are traveling to a ski resort over Easter. I don’t understand why they can’t be more self sacrificing and not prioritize their holiday over the greater good. I see an elderly person in the supermarket and think ‘wtf, why isn’t she at home, the old fool’. I think, in general, people are ‘stupid’ if they take the bus or sit too close to each other, or do anything that I judge to be wrong.

It isn’t untypical that we judge people and their behaviour. We hear it all the time – not least in social media. And I think in times of crisis or stress, we become even more judgmental and, even, moralistic. In these situations it would be good to DIE!

DIE is a strategy developed by cultural researcher Milton Bennett to help us mindfully withhold judgement. It stands for Describe, Interpret, Evaluate. Let’s apply it to one of the scenarios above.

D – describe the scenario as neutrally as you can. Ok, I saw an old lady in a supermarket buying food. She was carrying a small basket. She was not at home.

I – interpret – what are the various reasons why this might have happened and why she isn’t staying at home? Ok, she doesn’t have a tv and is unaware. She has short term memory loss. She is so sick she doesn’t care. She doesn’t trust anybody else. She is lonely. She has previously been tricked out of money. She has already had corona and recovered.

E – evaluate – what do you think of the situation now?

DIE is not a strategy that gives us any answers. However, it is a strategy that helps us to see the perspectives of others and remind us that we don’t understand everybody’s motives. It encourages us to stop negatively judging others, and instead to be more reflective.

Using DIE encourages us to foster self awareness of our assumptions and be more tolerant and accepting. And heaven knows the world needs more of that!

So the next time you find yourself judging or jumping to a conclusion – try to DIE the situation instead.

Oh those healthy Swedes!

With all of us currently questioning our health statuses at the first sniffle, Swedish sickness words like ‘sjuk’, ‘dålig’ and ’krasslig’ abound. So, I thought I’d flip the perspective. How many ways in Swedish can you describe someone as being in good health? I found 20! Can you think of any more? Please let me know and I’ll add them to the list. Enjoy the positivity of the words below, and stay healthy!

Bra – Good/well

‘En sund själ i en sund kropp’ – ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body’

Frisk – healthy

‘Frisk som en nötkärna’ – literally healthy as the core of a nut, equivalent to ’healthy as a horse’

Hurtig – spry

Hurtfrisk – hearty

I bra form – in good shape

Kraftfull – vigorous

Kry – well

Kärnfrisk – healthy to the core

Pigg – bright /fit

‘Pigg som en mört’ – literally fit as a roach, equivalent to ’fit as a fiddle’

Rosig – rosy

Sund – robust

Stark – strong

Stråla – glow

Vid hälsa – in good health

Vital – vital, full of life

Välmående – healthy

Vältränad – fit

I have been given a new one by Lukus: ‘ vid sunda vätskor’ – literally translates as ‘in healthy fluids’ – dating back to the time when medicine was based on the four humours (body fluids): blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black bile. Yuck.

Some more to add from Mia – ’i topp form’ – in great shape and ‘tipp topp’ – ship shape. Then Mia adds ’mår fina fisken’. Literally this translates as ‘feeling pretty fishy’ but that would be the wrong meaning! It means ‘to feel super good!’

And Pelle suggested I add ‘finemang’ which means great/excellent!

Fredrik suggested ‘prima’ and ‘mår toppen’ – both words describe how you are feeling. Feeling great!

Sweden under attack

I put out a picture of my local cafe yesterday and got the reaction from a friend in Germany ‘what!? Are cafes still open?! Everything’s closed here!’ It seems like most places in the world are on lock down. But not in Sweden yet. The Swedish authorities have chosen another route, and are being attacked for it from the international community.

Media in the UK and USA are calling Sweden’s approach ‘Russian roulette’ with the lives of the population. One neighbouring country said Sweden is making its worst decision throughout history. Italian press have said it’s beyond comprehension why Sweden doesn’t follow the way that Italy has gone.

In Sweden there is no lock down, or curfew. It seems like the government want to protect the nation – without totally destroying the economy. Restaurants and cafes are open. Shops are open. Schools are open. However, sport and cultural events have been cancelled, theatres and cinemas are closed, as are sports centres, swimming pools, many work places, some museums, universities and colleges. Sweden’s largest gym chain was closed, and has now reopened. Meeting in groups of more 50 people is illegal.

I’m not here to defend or criticize Sweden’s approach. I am not a doctor or a virus expert, and I am certainly not an epidemiologist. However, as a citizen, I am obliged to follow the recommendations put forward by the authorities:

Work from home if you can, avoid large groups, stand two meters away from other people, socially distance yourself, limit your movement, wash your hands and crucially – stay home if you show the slightest symptom: cough, sniffle, temperature, sneezing.

It seems like many people are following these recommendations, but some are not. For me, it’s about individual responsibility for yourself and the collective. If we all follow the recommendations now, the quicker it will be over. Makes sense, right?

But some people still crowd into public transport, or sit on busy restaurant terraces. Some old folks, the most at-risk in our community, still mingle amongst people and still go shopping. The ski resorts are still open, but not the after ski. With Easter approaching, swarms of people will descend upon these resorts. God forbid that they should miss out on their holiday.

Experts believe this is of little consequence as the virus already exists in society and cannot be eradicated. They are focusing instead on flattening the curve and not on preventing the spread of the virus. They are ramping up health care services and trying to delay the inflow of patients needing care. It seems like it is a question of when, rather than if, we all get infected. The vast majority of people will not be affected with more than mild flu-like symptoms. The main concern at the moment is our elderly. They need to stay home, and many aren’t. How the Government will approach this is the next big question.

When all this is over, we can look back and judge. Whose approach was the best?

With the benefit of hindsight, we might see that Sweden did the right thing, lives were saved and the economy survived.

Or we might see that not enforcing a lock down was the most devastating decision Sweden ever made.

Swedish solidarity in times of crisis

My sister wrote in our family chat that this crisis brings the best and the worst out in people. It made me think. Truthfully, most of the news today is bad. But there are some moments of positivity shining through. We seem to be closing in on a potential vaccine. In Sweden, the situation is manageable – that enormous volume of people needing health care hasn’t happened yet. Most people seem to be taking their personal responsibility and staying tf home.

But most of the positive news is connected to the way in which people are behaving towards each other. When I thought solidarity was dead in Sweden, it seems like the crisis has proved me wrong. It warms the cockles of the heart. Here are a few examples:

Residents are putting notes on walls and through doors offering help to people who can’t go out because they are sick, quarantined or in a risk group. ‘If you need help walking the dog, buying food or going to the chemist, just call me on..’

In the town of Ystad, an elderly woman had her 96th birthday. A local school class didn’t want her to be alone, so they stood outside her balcony and serenaded her.

A movement has started up to support and show appreciation for health care staff. When in a cafe, you can buy a coffee, or sandwich etc. in advance. This is then given for free to a customer who comes in after you and is a healthcare worker. This is one I actually copied and did today at my local cafe.

A student took the initiative and enlisted hundreds of other students who want to volunteer to help in the health care system.

A bakery in the Swedish town of Karlstad decided they wanted to give everybody a laugh. So they designed a new cake. In the shape of a roll of toilet paper.

A loo roll cake at a cafe in Karlstad, Sweden

Do you know of any other acts of kindness in Sweden or wherever you are? Please share!

The Swedish ‘butt stick’

Watching the tv this evening, I learned a new word – ‘rövsticka’ – which translates as ‘butt stick’ or ‘ass stick’.

This butt stick is being sold by a supermarket owner in the north of Sweden. A butt stick is an alternative to toilet paper and is used to wipe the ass after doing your business in the toilet.

Apparently, it is an old invention that was used in Sweden before tissue paper was invented, which makes sense. It was an inventive way to maintain hygiene I guess, just like the Romans who used wool and natural sponges. And the Vikings, who used painful bones and shells. Apparently in the Middle Ages, people used grass and hay – and butt sticks made of wood.

According to the shop owner, several butt sticks have been purchased and, thankfully, they are not returnable!

Would you use a butt stick?

Useful Swedish to know during a pandemic

This is aimed at those of you who don’t speak Swedish and who’d like to understand some of the key Swedish words related to the pandemic – or ‘pandemin’.

Akuten – A&E, Emergency Room

Apotek – chemist or pharmacist

Hamstra – to hoard, to stockpile

Handsprit – hand sanitizer

Hemarbeta – work from home

Hosta – to cough

Influensa – the flu

Isolering – isolation

Karantän – quarantine

Kris – crisis

Luftburen – airborne

Läkemedel – medicine

Nysa – to sneeze

Permittera – to lay off temporarily, furlough

Prov – test

Smitta – contagion, to infect

Smittbärärbidrag – Social benefit for carriers

Stanna hemma – stay home

Stänga ned – to shut down

Toapapper – toilet paper

Torgskräck – agoraphobia

Tvätta händerna – wash your hands

Tvål – soap

Undantagstillstånd – National Emergency

Utegångsförbud – curfew

Please let me know if you’d like me to add any other important words to this list.

Surviving our VUCA world

A quote from Charles M Schultz in the comic strip Peanuts goes like this ‘Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening, it just stops you from enjoying the good’. Here, he is referring to our personal ability to manage a VUCA world.

Have you heard of the acronym VUCA? It’s a very useful term right now.

Defined on Wiki, VUCA was first used in the leadership theories of Bennis and Nanus to describe or to reflect on the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of general conditions and situations.

  • V = Volatility: the nature and dynamics of change, and the nature and speed of change forces and change catalysts.
  • U = Uncertainty: the lack of predictability, the prospects for surprise, and the sense of awareness and understanding of issues and events.
  • C = Complexity: the multiplex of forces, the confounding of issues, no cause-and-effect chain and confusion that surrounds organization.
  • A = Ambiguity: the haziness of reality, the potential for misreads, and the mixed meanings of conditions; cause-and-effect confusion.

VUCA often impacts how individuals and organisations make decisions, plan forward, manage risks, foster change and solve problems. Our ability to operate in a VUCA world is defined by our fear, comfort levels, optimism and by how much we try to control or avoid uncertainty.

More than ever, we are living in a VUCA world. None of us know how this corona virus epidemic will end. Here in Sweden, society seems to be shutting down and the economy is in the middle of a major crisis. A global recession seems inevitable.

So how do we get through it?

Our ability to get through this without emotional breakdown does not come from panic, rumour and phobia.

According to Bill George, a senior fellow at Harvard Business School, it calls for a response which he calls VUCA 2.0: Vision, Understanding, Courage and Adaptability. From the government, from employers and from each individual. Thinking and acting in this way provides us with the stability and psychological safety we will need to get through to the other side.

So, how do you personally handle the concept of VUCA?