30 ways that Swedes are drunk

Yesterday was St Patrick’s Day, known for its partying and boozing. This inspired me to collect a list of Swedish words and expressions for being drunk. Not surprisingly, it seems that Swedes have as many words and expressions for being drunk as they do for snow. Might there be a connection here? Here we go:

1) Full – the usual, neutral word for drunk

2) Dragen – extremely drunk

3) Rund under foten – round under the feet – literally wobbly drunk

4) Bra i gasen – energetic drunk

5) Glad i hatten – happy in the hat – merry drunk

6) Packad – wasted

7) Radiostyrd – radio controlled

8) Aprak – drunk as a monkey

9) Dyngrak – very drunk

10) Tankad – tanked

11) Plakat – very drunk

12) Full som en kastrull – drunk as a saucepan

13) Berusad – tipsy

14) Onykter – tipsy

15) Pruttfull – ‘fart drunk’

16) Överförfriskad – had too much to drink

17) Bladig – tipsy

18) Snygg – drunk (also ‘good looking’)

19) På lyset – lit up

20) I dimman – in the mist

21) Dretfull – very drunk

22) På sniskan – tipsy

23) Kalasad – drunk and been partying

24) På kanelen – on the cinnamon

25) karatefylla – so drunk that you have no body control

26) pissepackad – pissed

27) påverkad – under the influence

28) slirig – tipsy

29) drucken – drunk

30) på pickelurven – between tipsy and drunk

A crucial night for Sweden

Tonight is the end of a gruelling six weeks. Tonight an important decision is made in Sweden – a crucial decision some might say. Tonight, millions of Swedes gather together to jointly arrive at their conclusion. From North to South, East to West, amongst mountains, by lakes, on islands and in cities, Swedes crowd around their TVs to watch the biggest show broadcasted in the country. This is bigger than royal weddings, political funerals or sporting events. This is huge. Tonight, Swedes decide who should represent them in this year’s Eurovision Contest.

Choosing a representative takes 6 weeks in Sweden. 5 weeks of semi finals, a second chance competition and then the final. It’s a combination of tradition and torture.

But tonight it is all over and Saturday evenings are finally released for other entertainment. In a puff of glitter, the winner is chosen by public vote and jury and then it is all over. Apart, that is, from the after party, the post analysis and the pre programs for the approaching Eurovision Contest in May.

Sweden might be a county of moderation, but Eurovision is a major exception. If anything’s worth doing, apparently it’s worth doing properly. By dragging it out. And out. And out.

The world’s longest cross country ski race – Vasaloppet in Sweden

Today, the world’s longest cross country ski race takes place in Sweden. Called Vasaloppet, it entails participants skiing 90 kilometers from start to finish. It’s an extremely popular international race, which can take up to 12 hours to complete, and which is broadcast live on tv. When tickets to participate are released, they sell out in 15 minutes – it’s that popular.

The first Vasalopp was in 1922 and takes place annually, the first Sunday in March and it is a first sign of spring.  It’s an amazing sight to watch, as more than 15000 mad, happy skiers glide along, the swishing sound of ski on snow filling the air.

For the elite athletes, 12 hours to complete the race is of course unthinkable. They go considerably faster. The person who has completed the race fastest is Jörgen Brink, who in 2012 won the race in just over 3 hours 40 minutes, roughly 25 km per hour.

So why is this race called the Vasalopp? Well, it takes its name from a Swedish king. The race commemorates the escape to Norway, through the forest, of King Gustav Vasa in 1521. Legend has it that he carried out the gruelling journey on skis,  but experts believe he more likely completed this escape on snow shoes. Nevertheless, out of this legend sprung the race which is so popular today.

Modern day skiers don’t see the experience as an escape, they see it as a challenge and for many of them it’s a rite of passage.

And as you sit watching the TV comfortably from the sofa, with tea and toast, you take vicarious pleasure in this long, amazing Swedish race.

Demolishing Swedish treats

Many Swedes love to ‘fika’ – the tradition of drinking coffee and eating a cake. So much so that somebody decided to create the graphic above about popular Swedish treats. While the drawing is nice, the picture rather shows the meagreness of a Swede’s cake options. What then are some of the terrible choices depicted?

In a previous blog I’ve talked about the creamy bun known as semla, which I happen to think is delicious. In my opinion the semla is the best of them all. It is the king of Swedish treats reigning large over the other, to be honest, rather underwhelming alternatives.

The apple and cinnamon scone – as a British person I would not call this a scone. I don’t know what it is. Some kind of triangular bit of plaster. So, no further comment.

Probably the most popular dry-as-a-bone pastry associated with Sweden is the ‘kanelbulle’ or the cinnamon bun. Sold predictably in every bakery and cafe in Sweden and in their millions at Ikea, the cinnamon bun is only redeemed when drenched in melted, oozing butter.

Then there’s the ‘lussekatt’ – a disgusting saffron bun baked and sold in December. If you like bland, yellow bakes that give you indigestion for hours then this is the one for you.

The ‘dammsugare’ – or vacuum cleaner – is a marzipan roll dipped in chocolate. They can contain a bit of Swedish liqueur ‘punsch’ to take the edge off their otherwise plasticky taste. Altogether pointless and unsatisfying.

‘Chokladboll’ or chocolate ball is a linguistically dubious treat. Traditionally given a racist title, they are basically cocoa balls rolled in coconut. An unpleasant eating experience, these balls tend to ‘grow in your mouth’ as they say in Swedish….

‘Hallongrotta’, literally means raspberry cave. These are vanilla biscuits filled with raspberry jam that melt in the mouth. Unless they’re rock hard. They are a traditional biscuit which seem to evoke memories of grandmas and hot kitchens for many Swedes.

‘Pepparkakor’ are crisp gingerbread biscuits eaten around Christmas time. A ubiquitous classic eaten with Swedish mulled wine – ‘glögg’. They are a must during the festive season in homes, offices and often served covered in bacteria in shops. They come in many sizes and shapes, such as love-hearts, stars, people and goats. Yes, you read that correctly – goats.

So none of the above have a patch on the creamy, gooey, airy, almondy delight that is the semla. I know what I’m ordering with my coffee!

Any other Swedish treats that you think rival the almighty semla?