Author: Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Since 1994, I've been watching the Swedes. Not in a creepy, obsessive way, but like an adventurer in unknown territory who carefully observes his surroundings. I run a training company with my American business partner in Stockholm. We hold seminars and workshops in Cultural Awareness and Communication. For more info about this check out www.keytraining.se

A new Swedish princess – but does she qualify?

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Princess Madeleine has given birth to a daughter and, in doing so, provides the Swedish people with a new princess.

Bookies are placing odds on the name of this child. Amongst the most favourite names are Elouise, Desirée, Lilian and Alice. The least likely, and therefore a chance of winning most money are Flora, Hjördis and Ulla. Princess Ulla? Mmm….

This birth, however, is not without its political complications. Since the child was born in the USA to an American/British father, she automatically is an American citizen. And, apparently, as an American citizen, she does not have the right to the Swedish throne.  This becomes a constitutional question for Sweden. Is the order of the succession to the throne connected to nationality, to geography of birth or to bloodline? It’s maybe not a hugely important question, but it’s an interesting one.

 

 

Hijacking Calle – Swedish crowdfunding

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I once wrote an article about lack of charitable thinking in Sweden. Now I am so eating humble pie.

One of my oldest friends in Sweden has been fighting cancer for 3 years. His body has been poked, prodded, cut, slashed and injected with poison over and over again. There is little more to do.

Calle is a passionate, strong-willed person and he has now decided to stop the poison and attempt alternative medicinal approach at the Budwig Centre in Spain. This requires private funding – 100 000 Swedish crowns – money he does not have since he has been sick for such a long time and unable to work.

He has started a fund to ask friends, colleagues, acquaintances and strangers to support him. To my amazement, people have flocked to his support. He has received some financial support and needs more. I was wrong about charity not being big in Sweden. In this case, I am happy to say people have proved me very wrong.

Estate agent Uppvik and Daughters, where Calle has previously worked, hijacked his Facebook page and wrote this open letter:

”Nu kapar vi din Facebooksida en stund, Calle! Vi som känner dig vet att du aldrig ger upp och att du har den ytterst ovanliga förmågan att betrakta dig själv med distans och humor. Förmodligen är det därför vi tycker så mycket om dig! (och för att din penna förmår skriva så att man hisnar!) Efter tre år av fruktansvärt påfrestande behandlingar, framgångar och bakslag om vartannat förstår vi inte hur du orkar… När nu din önskan är att få något annat än mera nedbrytande cellgift vill vi se till att undanröja de ekonomiska hindren för att din önskan ska infrias: vi stödjer helhjärtat att du söker dig till The Budwig Center i Malaga – en klinik med cancerläkare med ett helhetsperspektiv och betydligt fler effektiva verktyg än kirugi, strålning och cellgift, som ju är det som står till buds i den svenska cancervården! Och om alla ni som troget följer och låter er underhållas av Calles texter och foton hjälper till, får vi ju snabbt fram de 100.000:- som krävs! Vi har hittills fått ihop drygt 15.000:-, men mer behövs ju och det bums! Nordea Carl Mikelsons 3018 00 38311 – Inget bidrag är för litet – eller för stort 😉 Personligen vet jag (Gabrielle, som håller i pennan) att inte någon – varken läkare, forskare, alternativmedicinare – sitter inne med hela sanningen. Det sämsta man kan göra är att låta sig bli övertygad om att det bara finns en enda väg till läkning. Det finns många! Lymfom är sannerligen ingen dödsdom. När en engagerad och duktig läkare inte har fler uppslag och idéer betyder det inte att det inte finns mer att göra! Vad han säger är snarare: ”VI har uttömt våra resurser och kan inte göra mer för dig”. Välkända cancerprogram är just Dr Johanna Budwigs (Nobelprisnominerad fettsyreforskare) och Dr Max Gersons(strikt cancerdiet). Det finns som sagt hela hav av kunskap! Sorgligt lite tycks dock komma patienter i den svenska sjukvården till nytta! Utomlands har man på många håll kommit betydligt längre och blivit duktigare på att integrera sjukhusmedicin med många andra former av terapier. Integrativ medicin är framtidens medicin!¨” (http://www.uppvik.nu/cancer_och_integrativ_medicin.pdf)

I know you probably don’t know Calle. But if you feel like you would like to contribute to his crowd-funding, please donate to Nordea Carl Mikelsons 3018 00 38311, (The clearing number is the 3018).

Please pass this blog forward.

‘Vobba’ – a brand new Swedish complaint

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Perspectives-taking is one of the most important skills required for working in an multicultural environment. Anybody who’s travelled abroad knows that a new perspective is often one of the main impressions we receive. This is especially true if we travel to countries that are culturally and economically different from ours. In the context of the other society, we gain perspective on our own.

Yesterday, I returned from a trip to Thailand and Cambodia and was left, as often, with a humbling feeling. Cambodia is a dirt poor country, as yet not destroyed by tourism. The countryside, the cities and the people, raped by their recent history, are warm and humane and welcome us with open arms. Homelessness is rife, unemployment and sikness prevail. There, they really have a lot to complain about, and I’m sure at times they probably do.

Transport to Sweden, Monday  morning, breakfast television. As I sat there this morning and watched the local news to catch up on latest happenings,  I learned a new Swedish word. And this Swedish word reminded me of the importance of having perspective – ‘Vobba’.

‘Vobba’ is a combination of two Swedish words – ‘Jobba’, which means to work and ‘Vabba’ which means to be at home with a sick child and therefore free from work. In Sweden, parents receive support from the government to ‘Vabba.’

This new word ‘Vobba’ refers to parents who are home with their sick child but, thanks to technology, they also do a little work while at home, such as check emails or speak on the phone.

According to the report on the news this morning, one third of parents who have to ‘vobba’ feel stressed, and invaded, by it and find it impossible to balance their home and work lives with their sick child. 

What a problem! Oh dear me! I really don’t know how they cope! Not only are they paid to be at home by the tax payer, and their child is probably asleep in bed, but it’s really hard work to check a few emails on a smart phone while they’re having a cup of coffee.

Really??? Get some perspective!  

In countries like Cambodia, where daily survival is a struggle, they would be shocked by this new Swedish stress factor.

So, I am asking all of us to get some perspective on this issue and on all those other issues and compaints that we have. In the greater scheme of things, how important are they?

Instead of focusing on what is stressful, invasive or unfair, let’s focus on the positive! Sweden is a great country where parents get to be home with their sick child and are not forced to take a day’s holiday or leave the child with an unknown baby-sitter or force the sick child to go to school. That is fantastic!

Let’s focus on that instead and remember most people around the world don’t have it anywhere near as good as we do.

 

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A theory about Stockholmers

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It happened again today. And, actually, it has happened once too often.

When I approached my office building this morning, there was a small group of people speaking Swedish standing outside in the cold. They couldn’t get into the building. As I have a pass card, I knew I could let them in. So, I smiled, and I said ‘I can let you in to the warmth’. There was no reaction, apart from a little wry smile. Swiping my card, I let them into the building and turned to look at them. Not one of them acknowledged what I’d done and said ‘Thank you.‘

This might seem like a small thing, but it happens all the time to me. I hold a door open for somebody. I get no ‘thank you’. I let somebody go on the bus before me. Nothing. Soembody bumps into me. And I apologise!

Why is this the case? Why do many Stockholmers not acknowledge or thank each other. It isn’t that they don’t see each other. Is it that they don’t care?

An interesting fact is that the vast majority of people in Stockholm come from somewhere else in Sweden. They have migrated from smaller towns and villages to seek work, love and excitement in the capital. My experience of being in towns outside Stockholm is that people are friendly, polite and acknowledging of each other. So what happens to these people when they move to the city?

I have a theory. I think that many Stockholmers who have migrated into the city have a perception of what a city should be. They seem to think a city should be fast-paced, tough, individualistic and unfriendly. That people should push themselves forward, and through, other people. That connecting with a stranger in a public place with eye contact, a small remark or a thank you does not belong in a capital city. I think that they are playing pseudo cosmopolitans.

In my opinion, this attitude is shamefully misguided. Citizens of much larger cities, such as New York or London, still find time to small talk, for politeness and to say sorry or thank you to each other. Try bumping into somebody in New York and not apologise. The price of impoliteness is sometimes harsh.

And the solution is easy. Say ‘thank you’ to the next person who does something for you today.

Really, it’s not that difficult.

Politics and hamburgers

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To what degree is an employer allowed to inform their staff of their personal opinion?

Is an employer allowed to urge employees to vote a certain way because a particular party has a politics that is more beneficial for the company?

Where is the line between public opinions and private opinions, between information and abuse of power?

All of these are very cultural questions. What’s your point of view?

Sweden, it’s time for ‘fredagsmys’

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Soon it’s the weekend! A collective sigh of relief falls over the Swedish population, at least those who are not forced to work Saturdays and Sundays of course.

A weekend means relaxation and family time. It means late nights and parties. It means sports activities with the kids. It means sleeps-in and late breakfasts. It means cultural activities. It means computer game or TV series marathons. It means sledging and skating, drinking hot rose-hip soup.

Weekends mean so many different things to different people.

And it means a very Swedish concept: Fredagsmys

‘Fredagsmys’ loosely translated as ‘Friday Cosying’, is a modern ritual in Sweden. It is when friends and families gather together to mark the end of the working week and get ready for the approaching week. Traditions are different depending on if children are involved but one common denominator seems to be that food is easy and quick to make. Friday night is a big taco and pizza night in other words. 

Gathering around food for cosy family evenings has a long tradition in Sweden. In the 1800’s and 1900’s something called ‘Söndagsfrid’ (Sunday peace) was popular. Then in the 1970’s ‘kvällsgott’ (Evening Goodies) became a concept.

The concept ‘fredagsmys’ became popularised in a high-profile advertising campaign for crisps. With the perky slogan ”Now it’s the end of the week, it’s time for Friday cosying”, (really, it’s perky in Swedish), they captured the Swedish market and encouraged the consumer to devour potato chips on Friday nights.

So how does your Friday night look? What kind of cosying are you planning?

Olle the star gazer

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Long, long ago there lived a little boy called Olle. He lived in the dirtiest, coldest, noisiest part of Stockholm’s Old Town. He shared his squalid shack with his mum and dad, grandparents and five sisters and brothers, all of them squeezed into one simple room. From inside the room, you could hear the noise of the horses hooves on the cobblestones and the bustle of people outside.

Olle was always hungry but he was also a dreamer. Whenever he didn’t have to work, he could be found standing outside gazing up at the stars.  He loved the way they blinked in the night sky and how the moon lit up the dark alley ways of the Old Town.

One cold winter night, he was outside as usual looking up at the sky when he heard a whisper of voices. Looking around, he noticed that the voices came from inside a cellar, and the door was slightly open. It was so cold outside and the yellow light from the cellar stairs seemed warm and cosy, so he decided to go in. Once inside, he walked slowly down the stairs until he came to a little room with an open fire. The ceiling was very low in this room and it was lovely and warm. By the fire place, he saw a rocking chair and a side table laden down with thick pies. He looked around cautiously. The whispers had stopped, and the room was empty. He felt the hunger in his stomach and stared at the pies. Gradually, he moved closer to them, mouth watering, and in a mad moment, he grabbed a pie and shoved it into his mouth.

The door to the room slammed shut and in the shadows behind he saw a shape. He heard the whispers beginning again and from the shadows emerged an ugly old woman.

‘Oh Child,‘ she whispered ‘Are you hungry?’

Olle nodded, scared. He could hear the noise from the street above and the crackling of the fire.

‘Take Another one then. Go on. Eat’

Olle turned to the pies and took another. He was so hungry. And he stuffed it into his mouth.

‘You like my pies?’ said the old woman

Olle nodded but he started to feel a little strange. The room starting spinning slowly and he felt a odd feeling in his body. The floor seemed to be getting closer, and the ceiling further away. His clothes felt too big for him. What was happening? Was he shrinking??

A few minutes later, Olle opened his eyes. The old woman was towering over him and laughing. Everything in the room was huge, he had shrunk to the size of a tin soldier.

Bending over, the old woman grabbed him in her hand and lifted him up to her face. He could see the milky colour of her eyes and smell the foul odour of her breath.

‘So you liked my pies! You know what’s in them?‘

Olle shook his head.

‘Curious little boys!’ screamed the old woman.  

Olle never made it home that day. No one really knows what happened to him. But you can still visit him if you like. Just behind the Finnish Church in the Old Town, there’s a little statue in his honour. There he sits, little Olle, and gazes up at the stars that he loved so much.

Taking a stand for Sweden’s neighbours

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Finally! That’s all I can say! Finally!

The Swedish Minister for Sport, Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth, finally took a stand today against the homophobic Russian regime and announced she will not be attending the Olympic Games Opening or Closing ceremonies in a couple of weeks. In declining the invitation, she joins USA, Germany and France who have previously stated they will be boycotting the ceremonies.

Many people say sport and poltics do not belong together. However, while each individual sportsperson absolutely has the right to fulfill their personal dreams of an Olympic medal, regardless of the country where the games are being held, I believe that governments should have a different perspective. By attending a high-profile event in a country which has dubious human rights, politicians are indirectly condoning the actions of that country. By not attending, politicians are taking a stand against oppression and violence.

I am today proud of Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth and hope that other Swedish politicians and dignitaries will follow suit.