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Swedish Swedish Sex Stereotypes

Posted on by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

A funny sketch is circulating around the internet from Saturday Night Live where the comedians are acting out a Swedish chat show. Full of stereotypes, it goes something like this:

‘Hurdy gurdy flurdy ja ja my vagina lurdy flurdy gago?’

‘Liga gargy murdy flurdy rollga buggla hurdy gurdy you bitch.’

And so on, you get the picture. Everyone was stereotypically blond and all of the understandable words were sex-related – yet another Swedish stereotype.

As I watched the clip, I couldn’t help laughing because, without knowing it, the comedians were actually right on the ball. I’m not talking about the Swedish chef style way of communicating but the Swedish preference for chucking English words into sentences when there is a perfectly good Swedish word to use. Why is this such a preference? Is it to sound international? Or to impress? I don’t know the answer, but it something very noticeable as you listen to Swedes conversing with each other.

Only the other day,  I was listening to the radio and, although I can speak Swedish, I imagined what it would be like if I couldn’t. As it happened, the hosts were talking about sex toys, and the conversation went something like this:

‘Swedish, Swedish, Swedish, Swedish, dildo, Swedish, Swedish’

‘Swedish, Swedish, sex, Swedish, Swedish, swingers’

‘Swedish, Swedish, rimming, Swedish, Swedish, Swedish, butt plug’

Seems like the comedians weren’t that far off!

 SNL Link: http://feber.se/video/art/242494/swenglish_med_snl/

 

Swedish pollen attack!

Posted on by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

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You see them everywhere around town, with their red eyes and runny noses. Your hear them around you as they try to unblock the nasal congestion that is driving them to insanity. These poor people suffer from pollen allergy and, at this time of the year, just want to curl up and die, as the tree pollen assaults their noses, throats and airways. According to statistics 2 million Swedes suffer from pollen allergy, mostly related to the treachorous birch trees. These lovely trees that signal the arrival of the spring, also torture more than a quarter of the population.

Apparently, not since 2006 has the pollen assault been as bad as it has this year. So much so that the chemist shops are rapidly running out of allergy medicines and there is apparently none left to order.

So what should these poor people do? Stay inside is the cruel advice from the government.

But if 2 million people stayed indoors, then there would be nobody left to fuel the Swedish economy through work and consumption. Wouldn’t it be better just to produce more medicine? It would boost production, boost the economy and boost the poor sufferers who collapse under the anslaught of thesepollen invaders.

Hello world!

Posted on by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

Here are some suggestions for your first post.

  1. You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
  2. Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting  page you read on the web.
  3. Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can always preview any post or edit it before you share it to the world.

Hoovering the streets

Posted on by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes


My dog nearly died today.

In fact, he almost dies quite often. Not by doing anything reckless or crazy. Not by attacking other, bigger, scarier, dogs. Not by disobeying my commands when he’s off his leash. No, just by walking the streets of Stockholm. On an ordinary day, just walking the streets.

Even though he is given ample food, he sometimes behaves hungrily when we’re outside. All dogs sniff, my dog hoovers. And today, like many other days, he hoovered up a small pouch of ‘snus’, which disappeared straight down his gullet.

‘Snus’ is a Swedish derivative of snuff – a kind of moist tobacco product packaged in what looks like miniature teabags. Users put these teabags under their lip and let the tobacco absorb through their gums and into their bloodstream. The tobacco gives a kick since it’s packed with nicotine. Regular usage of ‘snus’ can result in rotted gums, black teeth and gaping holes in the lip. The jury is out on its carcenogenic qualities. Illegal in the EU, Sweden is however uniquely exempt and still produces, sells and consumes the product.

What most people react to when they visit Stockholm is how clean and tidy the streets are.

But have a closer inspection. Dotted around the pavement, it’s not unusual to find small used teabags of snus. The users have simply sucked the life out of them and spat them onto the pavements in a brown mess.

These offcasts are frankly unhygenic and a little disgusting. It’s easy to tramp on them, and get them stuck to the sole of your shoe.

So, message to all snusers, please spit it out into a waste bin. And not in the path of a little canine hoover out for a weekend walk.

Lou Reed’s fear of Sweden

Posted on by Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes


The other day I heard a interesting quote by Drew Curtis about Sweden. Drew is the founder of community website FARK and a popular lecturer in social media. He said ‘I love Sweden. The entire world should be like Sweden. They all like to drink and get naked, and the women are hot. I can’t think of a better nation on the planet.’ No reinforcing of stereotypes there then.

This inspired me to find other quotes from celebrities about Sweden. After extensive searching, I only managed to find 3 more. And here they are.

The legendary Lou Reed said,

‘Compared to New York City, Sweden is a very scary place’

I don’t know what national characteristics or behaviours he was basing this on. Then there’s New York Doll’s member Johnny Thunders who said,

‘I was in Sweden for 10 days. They put me on the front page of the daily papers eight days in a row. I did nothing to warrant any of the attention. It was ridiculous.’

Small country, ‘big’ international celebrity.

And, finally, my personal favourite from the very religious Sir Cliff Richard,

‘Sweden is just about porn and gonorrhea’