Author: Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes

Since 1994, I've been watching the Swedes. Not in a creepy, obsessive way, but like an adventurer in unknown territory who carefully observes his surroundings. I run a training company with my American business partner in Stockholm. We hold seminars and workshops in Cultural Awareness and Communication. For more info about this check out www.keytraining.se

Lucia in the Mile High Club

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After so many years in Sweden, I thought I’d seen every type of Lucia celebration there is to see. But, no, this week I experienced something completely new.

Santa Lucia is the saint who wakes Swedes up early in the morning of Dec 13th with candles in her hair. A tranquil tradition, Lucia literally brings the light to the dark country of Sweden.

This December 13th, I was flying back from New York. I, like all the other passengers, was dozing off in my chair when the sun started to slowly peek above the horizon. Then, slowly in the distance I started to hear quiet singing – Santa Lucia’s song. The singing got louder and I opened my eyes. And there she was, Lucia, walking the aisles with her maidens and disciples. All were carrying lights and lightening up the dimness of the cabin.

The cabin crew had dressed in the traditional white robes, and brought Lucia to the sleepy continental travellers, somewhere over the North Sea. Afterwards, they performed ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ and served the traditional ginger bisucuits and saffron buns.

Of all the Lucia celebrations I have seen, this has to be one of the most memorable.

Lucia is about lightening up the dark. This one was also about lightening our weary spirits.

The land of invention

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Right now, I’m in an intense period of travelling for work. Backwards and forwards I walk from home to the airport train, out to Arlanda airport and off.

Picture this. Minus 20 temperatures. Snow tumbling down. Pathways covered in deep layers of snow, rutted and ribbed from pedestrians and pushchairs.

There I go. Head, neck, hands, legs, feet freezing because I’m only wearing a thinnish suit under my coat. Behind me, I pull a suitcase. A suitcase on wheels. I drag it, with much effort, through the piles of snow. It gets stuck in a snow-dune. With a wrench, I jerk the suitcase out and continue, head down into the wind and towards the station. I curse the fact that the pavement isn’t ploughed, and that the snow just keeps falling, falling, falling.

Sweden is a country that has fostered many inventors. For having a relatively small population, a very large amount of inventions have come out of this country. The safety match, dynamite, the blowtorch, the AGA stove, the safety belt, the zip, the ballbearing, the pacemaker and dialysis machines. All Swedish inventions.

Now, you’d think in such a small country of big brains, someone would have invented a suitcase on skis wouldn’t you? So many problems would be avoided.

I would definitely buy one.

Curling parents

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Last night, on Swedish television, a new programme aired. Called ‘Young and Spoiled’, it is a reality show about a group of young people who are very spoiled by their parents. The programme could easily have been called ‘Spoilt Rotten’. These ‘kids’ are aged between 18 & 24, and have never worked a day in their lives. They are put into a house together to see how they manage fundamentals such as cooking, cleaning and getting up to go to work. Of course, they don’t. And therein lies the entertainment.

I was fascinated less by the kids and more by the parents. Misguided adults who don’t see that they are doing their offspring no favours in life by pandering to their every whim.

In Swedish, because it is so common, there is a word for these type of parents. They are known as ‘curling parents’ – a reference to the Olympic sport of ice curling. Just like in the icy sport, curling parents smooth the way for their children. They sweep away any obstacles and make life easier. They think they are taking their role as a parent seriously. Life is so difficult anyway that they should try to cushion the blows for their,let’s face it, grown up children. But what they’re really doing is robbing their children of the chance to develop essential life skills and feel a sense of personal responsibility and achievement.

As far as I know, there is no equivalent word in English for ‘curling parents’.

This must be because they don’t exist in the UK. Right?

How the Swedes contemplate death

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It isn’t every day that you are faced with death. It is isn’t every day we contemplate our own mortality. And that’s probably a good thing. Imagine what life would be like if we thought about death all the time.

But today is an opportunity to do just that. Today is All Saints’ Eve. Well, not technically. All Saints’ Eve is actually October 31st. But in Sweden, they are practical and, since 1953, they round it up to the nearest weekend and call it a public holiday.

Legislation aside, today is the day in Sweden when people reflect over life, death and those who have passed away. It is a peaceful time. No fireworks or trick-or-treating here. It is a beautful time. No vampires or zombies populate the graveyards.

Instead, the graveyards twinkle with candle light. Relatives flock to the burial grounds and light candles and lanterns and place them by the graves of their loved ones. It is a miraculous sight to see the dark cemetries twinkling and glowing with bright white lights.

On Österlen in the rural south of Sweden, they have taken it a step further. A festival called ‘Österlen Lyser’ – Österlen shines – starts today. The dark villages and fields are lit up with candles, flares, lanterns and torches. People play lantern-illuminated night time boule by the edge of the sea. Choirs sing, windows glow and open bonfires celebrate this dark time of the year.

It isn’t every day that you are faced with death. Full respect to Halloween, but the less commercial Swedish approach provides a more reflective vehicle for us to contemplate our own mortality.

Exactly how corrupt is Sweden?

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Evil-doings and corruption is the flavour of the month in the Swedish press.

First, we were informed about the deep run corruption relating to public tenders in Gothenburg. Next, we were presented with MPs who had been invited on paid trips by private corporations or given free tickets to go to the Stockholm Open. Yesterday, a new book came out exposing the king’s alleged naughty-doings 20 years ago – naughty-doings that involved gambling, drinking and escort girls.

But just how corrupt is Sweden, in comparison to other countries? Well, first you have to define what corruption is. Is it misuse of power, or public funds, or position? Is it lying to gain public office? Is it prioritising personal progress? Different countries may perceive it differently.

Transparency International(TI) is an organisation that produces the annual Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI). They define corruption as the abuse of entrusted power for private gain. This definition encompasses corrupt practices in both the public and private sectors. The CPI is an index which allows us to compare how ‘corrupt’ countries are.

In the 2010 index, Sweden comes out as the fourth least-corrupt country in the world, a joint position held with Finland. The least corrupt countries are Denmark, New Zealand and Singapore. See http://www.transparency.org

It’s interesting that corruption is what the Swedish media chooses to report at the moment. A quick look around Europe shows a similar phenomenon – in times of recession and economic depression, issues of corruption become more important. When the people are suffering, their tolerance levels fall. The UK’s reporting of the many MP’s who used public funds for private investments is a classic example.

Sweden is in a recession at the moment. And when this happens, people start questioning the behaviours and standards of others. The King’s position becomes a target for public interest. The privileges that leading politicians have starts to be questioned.

As the fourth least-corrupt country in the world, Sweden doesn’t really have much to worry about when compared internationally.

I am sure that once the recession is over, what the king did in the 1980’s will seem irrelevant and unimportant.

Don’t be Swede-like

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Working with a couple of Spanish people today, I heard an interesting comment about Swedes.

Apparently in Spanish, they have a common saying – ‘Don’t be Swede-like’ or ‘Don’t do the Swedish thing’. I asked the two Spaniards what this saying means.

In Spain, they use this expression when somebody is pretending to listen but doesn’t really care about what you have to say. They are going to do their own thing anyway, regardliess of what you think.

Interesting perspective, wouldn’t you say?

A die hard Swedish stereotype

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The problem with stereotypes is that they are often out of date and frozen in time. The British stereotype of a polite, thin, uptight man with a bowler hat and brolly still prevails,even though most British men stopped dressing that generations ago.

When I googled ‘Sweden pictures’ today, the picture above came up first. It seems like the stereotype of Swedish women as blonde, promiscuous bimbos is still alive and kicking. This stereotype has rooted itself firmly in the international psyche thanks to fleshy films of the 1960’s.

That was 50 years ago and says a lot about other cultures’ prudish attitudes to sex and nudity.

It saddens me that we haven’t moved on since then.

The case of the battling tools

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Sometimes foreign language speaking can be just so wrong.

I was running a workshop in communication the other day, and one of the participants described a problem that he had experienced. He had a template that he wanted to introduce at work, but a colleague had a different template that he also wanted them to use.

The problem was that both had competing templates that served the same purpose. So I aked the participant how he solved the problem.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘it was very easy. I just asked him to show me his tool. Then I showed him my tool and we agreed the one with the best tool would win.’

As I said, sometimes foreign language speaking can be just so wrong.

Hoovering the streets

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My dog nearly died today.

In fact, he almost dies quite often. Not by doing anything reckless or crazy. Not by attacking other, bigger, scarier, dogs. Not by disobeying my commands when he’s off his leash. No, just by walking the streets of Stockholm. On an ordinary day, just walking the streets.

Even though he is given ample food, he sometimes behaves hungrily when we’re outside. All dogs sniff, my dog hoovers. And today, like many other days, he hoovered up a small pouch of ‘snus’, which disappeared straight down his gullet.

‘Snus’ is a Swedish derivative of snuff – a kind of moist tobacco product packaged in what looks like miniature teabags. Users put these teabags under their lip and let the tobacco absorb through their gums and into their bloodstream. The tobacco gives a kick since it’s packed with nicotine. Regular usage of ‘snus’ can result in rotted gums, black teeth and gaping holes in the lip. The jury is out on its carcenogenic qualities. Illegal in the EU, Sweden is however uniquely exempt and still produces, sells and consumes the product.

What most people react to when they visit Stockholm is how clean and tidy the streets are.

But have a closer inspection. Dotted around the pavement, it’s not unusual to find small used teabags of snus. The users have simply sucked the life out of them and spat them onto the pavements in a brown mess.

These offcasts are frankly unhygenic and a little disgusting. It’s easy to tramp on them, and get them stuck to the sole of your shoe.

So, message to all snusers, please spit it out into a waste bin. And not in the path of a little canine hoover out for a weekend walk.

Cultural differences in the laundry

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Even though I curse laundry day, I am secretly very thankful of the Swedish solution to washing our smalls.

In the UK, if you don’t have your own washing machine, then you have to trudge down to the nearest laundrette, loaded like a mule with heavy bags of dirty washing, clutching a handful of pound coins and hoping that there aren’t masses of people queueing.

In Sweden, most apartment blocks have their own laundry room. Usually in the cellar or the attic, you book your time on a board on the wall and then it’s just to carry your dirty clothes there when it’s your turn. You don’t even have to take your flipflops off. And it’s free.

And even though laundry day is a drag, you can’t deny the convenience of it compared to the UK.

Nowadays, many people also have their own washer in their apartment or house of course. Some friends of mine were recently planning a refurbishment and were trying to decide where to put the washing machine.

‘Why not put it in the kitchen?’ I said ‘there’s lots of space there’.

You see, in the UK most people have their washing machines in the kitchen. What’s the problem?

‘Uggh! No!’ they whinced. ‘Doing the laundry where you cook food, that’s disgusting!’

In Sweden, people usually put their washing machine in their bathroom.

So, can somebody please explain to me what’s so pleasant about doing the laundry where you crap???!!