A man stood at a hot-dog stand in Trollhättan and waited for his food. The mashed potato was finished and while he was waiting for some new to be prepared, another customer arrived. This customer turned out to be from England. The man looked at him and explained kindly, “You must wait for the moose.”
Author: Neil Shipley's watching the Swedes
Since 1994, I've been watching the Swedes. Not in a creepy, obsessive way, but like an adventurer in unknown territory who carefully observes his surroundings.
I run a training company with my American business partner in Stockholm. We hold seminars and workshops in Cultural Awareness and Communication.
For more info about this check out www.keytraining.se
The cat needs to meditate
If you ask Brits or Americans what they think about Swedes, they are usually impressed by their high level of English.
So, why might this be? Well, it’s partly owing to the educational system in Sweden. It’s also due to the wide-spread acceptance of, and interest in, all things American and British and the fact that Swedes are well-travelled.
I also believe that the high level of English in Sweden also has to do with something else: subtitles. Unlike in Germany and many other European countries, Swedish television is not dubbed. This means that Swedish tv-audiences see the programmes in their original language. This approach increases vocabulary and English competence and is a great method for improving language skills.
However, we cannot fully rely on subtitles and presume that the ones we read on Swedish television are always correct. Sometimes, they can be very, very wrong indeed. Just the other night I was watching the television – a hospital drama – and a female doctor said to her male colleague ‘That was a close shave’ (Det var nära) when she saved a patient’s life. The subtitle said ‘Du har rakat dig’ (You’ve shaved).
Below, you will find some irritating, but classically wrong, subtitles.
Independence Day
‘Oh my God! There’s nothing left!’
‘Åh, herregud, det är ingenting till vänster’
(oh god, there’s nothing to the left)
Oprah Winfrey Show
‘This is a lovely dress from Banana Republic’ (an American chain of shops)
‘Det här en elegant klänning sydd i bananrepubliker’
(This is an elegant dress sown in banana republics)
Living Single
‘You’re 20 minutes late with the moonshine’ (hembränt)
‘Du är 20 minuter för sent med månskenet’
(You are 20 minutes late with the moon rays)
The Cider House Rules
‘We are all bound by these Ciderhouse rules’
‘Vi är alla bundna av reglerna på den här sidan huset’
(We are bound by the rules on this side of the house)
Interview with singer, Cindy Lauper
’He’s got a nice bum’ (= rumpa)
‘Han är en trevlig lodare’ (He’s a nice tramp)
Simpsons
‘The cat needs medication’
‘Katten behöver meditera’ (The cat needs to meditate)
Drugs and sunbeds
Today, Sunday 17th January 2010 is a historic date. It is the day that the first non state-owned pharmacist opens its doors to the public. This marks the start of the dismanteling of a government-owned monopoly and is designed to give the public more freedom of choice and improved customer service. I applaud it.
This is indicative of the changing culture in Sweden – a move from state control to a privatised market defined by competition. It’s a move from collective control to individual choice.
However, Sweden’s national culture of collectivism sits deep and isn’t changed over one night.
The Swedish Radiation Safety Authority demanded this week that all local councils should immediately shut down their solariums due to health risks and prevent people from sunbathing. This is a clear example of the Swedish state attempting to control the choice of the individual citizen. Surely people have the right to choose if they want to visit solariums, no matter how unhealthy it might be, especially if it helps them get through the dark half of the year? Not everyone can afford a winter holiday abroad.
In the debate about privatisation of pharmacies, some Swedish politicians argued that releasing medicine freely on the market would turn Sweden into a nation of drug abusers. As if the average Swedish citizen is too simple-minded to handle the overwhelming access to paracetamol.
I guess it’s the same with sunbeds.
Broken English noses
I often wonder how many English people end up with broken noses when they visit Swedish friends at home.
You arrive at their building. You tap in the obligatory door code. Climb the stairs or ride the lift. Ring the doorbell and wait. Swiftly, the door opens. But in the wrong direction! Unlike in the UK, the doors open outwards in Sweden and you didn’t expect it. The door moves towards you like an inevitable wave. And you’re not quick enough to get out of the way. Smack! Broken nose.
But why do Swedish doors open outwards? What could be the explanation? Does it symbolise that the English are inward-looking, and Swedes are more outward-looking? Is it for security? It’s more difficult to kick in a door that opens outwards. Could very well be.
I think, however, it’s something entirely different. The price of accommodation in Sweden is high. Houses and flats are sold according to their precious square meterage. This makes the space behind a door important. Definitely sellable. Furnishable perhaps. One extra usable square meter means space for a hatrack.
So, it’s obvious, doors open outwards to give people a valuable extra square meter. And this is roughly the price of a broken English nose.
Freezing is for wimps
Early January in Stockholm and it’s dark and cold. So cold that the lakes turned to ice a month ago. So cold that your lungs hurt when you inhale. So cold that being outside, well, is brief. I scurry from flat to office, office to home. I try to find as many underground shortcuts as possible. I freeze even though I am wearing 5 layers of clothes.
I walk briskly down Kungsgatan, hunched with cold, and cursing the sting of the chill, when a focused Swede runs past me. Dressed in shorts, a reflective vest and a Ipod, he’s off on a jogging round. Probably down to the frozen canal and along the slippery canal-side path. He’s probably going to circle city hall and run casually along the lakeside, past the boats frozen fast into the ice. His legs are red and slightly chapped. His breath is billowing steam. But he doesn’t seem to care. The cold won’t stop him from his daily jogging round.
That’s what I call determination.
Freezing? It’s for wimps.
Why this blog?
I love living in Sweden. I love Swedish people. I love Swedish values.
I was born in England but Sweden has, quite simply, become my home. After 15 years of living in Sweden, and working with cultural awareness training, I decided it was time to share my observations on life, culture and society.
My views, my perspectives and my experiences in this cold and warm country in the north.
Watching the Swedes 